


Candy Store but Chav

by antisocial_headphones_kid



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Crack, Song: Candy Store (Heathers), stupid but funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28865271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisocial_headphones_kid/pseuds/antisocial_headphones_kid
Summary: Literally just the song Candy Store from Heathes but like if they were chavs cuz why not
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Candy Store but Chav

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the words are still American cuz either it didnt work properly if I changed them, it sounded lame if I changed them (see: Sweet Shop instead of Candy Store) or I just couldn't be arsed. 
> 
> This is literally the most stupid thing ever, enjoy...

Are we gonna have a problem?  
You gonna be a prick?  
You've come so far  
Why now are you sucking on my dick?  
I'd normally, like, fuck you up  
And everyone here could watch  
But I'm feeling nice  
Here's some advice  
Listen up, biotch!

I like!

Lookin' fit  
Buying gold, selling shit

I like!

Drinkin' hard  
Stealin' dad's credit cards

I like!

Cappin' gym  
Dissing her  
Fucking him

I like!

Bare leng clothes  
Kickin' cunts in the nose!

If you won't grow some balls  
You can go play dolls  
And your mum can spoil you again

Woah!

Or you could come smoke  
Down some shots and coke  
In McDonalds with some fuckin' roadmen

Woah! Woah! Woah!  
Honey, whatchu waitin' for?  
Welcome to my candy store  
Time for you to prove  
You're not a wanker anymore  
Then step into my candy store

Guys fall

At your feet  
Pay your cheque

Then they cheat

All you

Have to do

Say piss off to Shamu

That git's

Not your friend  
I can tell in the end

If she

Had your shot

She would leave you to rot!

'Course if you don't care  
Fine! Go braid her hair  
And I bet Peppa Pig is on

Woah!

Or forget that nob

And let's get on the sub

Then go mess up someone's drive

Woah! Woah! Woah!  
Honey, whatchu waitin' for?  
Welcome to my candy store  
You just gotta prove  
You're not a pussy anymore  
Then step into my candy store

You can join our group 

Or you can bitch and moan

You can stay in the loop

Or you can die alone

You can fly with pigeons

Or if you prefer

Keep fucking with me

And end up like her!

Veronica, look! Ram invited me to his after drinks sesh! This proves he's been thinking about me!

Colour me stoked!

I'm so happy!

Woah!

Honey, whatchu waiting fo—

Shut up, motherfucker!

Step into my candy store!

Time for you to prove  
You're not a nobhead anymore!

Oooh woah! Woah oh oh!

Then step into my candy store!  
It's my candy store  
It's my candy  
It's my candy store  
It's my candy  
It's my candy store  
It's my candy store


End file.
